A little humour to lighten things up

[imported_Al_Bundy]

On the chance you all haven't read this before, and in the interest on injecting a bit of humour, you might find this amusing.

10 Words That Don't Exist But Should

AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.

CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of confection (lollypop) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs.

ELBONICS (el bon'iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.

FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.

PEPPIER (peph ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh ground pepper.

PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

PUPKUS (pup'kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.

[imported_Al_Bundy]

Here's another one.

Never underestimate the intelligence of a mother.

Brian Hester invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but keep noticing how beautiful Brian's roommate, Stephanie, was. Mrs. Hester had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and his roommate, Stephanie,and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, Mrs. Hester started to wonder if there was more between Brian and his roommate, Stephanie, than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Stephanie came to Brian saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Brian said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote:"Dear Mother, I'm not saying that you 'did' take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, Brian"

Several days later, Brian received a letter from his mother that read: "Dear son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Stephanie, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Stephanie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom"

LESSON OF THE DAY.........NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER

[CHERIECURRIE]

Too funny Al!!!
I [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img] it!!!
Kisses and thanks!
Cherie

[rocketmaster]

LOL! Thanks Al! [img]biggrin.gif[/img]




<font color="#007FFF" size="1">[ June 07, 2005 08:22 PM: Message edited by: rocketmaster ]</font>

[SCHEMESofNEON]

LOL cute picture Rocketman!...thanks AL for the refreshing humour!

i do the DISCONFECT one alot .hahaha get it LOL [img]graemlins/sure.gif[/img]

[imported_Al_Bundy]

Yer all welcome, especially you Cherie.

[gus danger]

Whoooaaa Bundy!

Thanks for the guffaws!

[img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img] [img]biggrin.gif[/img]
Gus

[Ravensong]

[img]biggrin.gif[/img] [img]biggrin.gif[/img] [img]biggrin.gif[/img] Thanks you all!! [img]biggrin.gif[/img] [img]biggrin.gif[/img] [img]biggrin.gif[/img]

[Tard]

I used to have that book of sniglets. My fave is INDECISIJIG, v. the little dance two people do before deciding which way to pass one another.